Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
