You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
