Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize