Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
