Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
