he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
