butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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