am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
