Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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