the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
