he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
