3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
After last night, I could never be a politician.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
