so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
