I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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