when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
