I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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