I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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