so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
