How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is wine microwaveable?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
