so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
