New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
