I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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