tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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