I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
