We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sorry my hands just texted you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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