i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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