Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
