how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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