Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
