I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
