I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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