In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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