Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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