They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
