she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize