I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
