And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
