I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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