No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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