I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
