How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
