It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize