I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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