doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
