Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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