There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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