How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
