No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
