do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
