Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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