Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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