im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
