Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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