Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i wish my penis had a tongue
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
