she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
