he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
