Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
