The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
