So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
