why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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