Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
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