There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize