just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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