She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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