You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
