i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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